Moving to the desert...

Two weeks ago, I got the bad news. Not to put too fine a point on it, but the treatment has failed. The cancer, possibly in reaction to surgery, has exploded back into the skin, my lymph system and my lung. The news actually came on slowly enough, and I am aware enough of the implications of various things, to not have been shocked. I could see that the scar was not healing, seemed to be getting worse. I could feel the effect in my lung. bBut there's nothing like that old 2x4 between the eyes.... So what do you do? It's interesting how the mind takes in bad news, in a step-wise fashion, forward and back, acceptance and denial and distraction as it creeps up on you that things have changed. And I did despair. I found myself overwhelmed by grief and anger and terrible fear. It's been a very hard few weeks. But I have decided not to throw in the towel quite yet. A friend recommended an alternative treatment center in Arizona and I looked into it. I have to be honest and say that an extensive due diligence is more than I can take right now. I like their general approach, which is to attack the tumor through low-dose chemo potentiated by insulin. It's an FDA-approved, though still controversial (what isn't?) approach to try to target the cancer with chemo. It allows you to have less chemo, so the rest of the body says stronger. More importantly, they treat the immune system through IV vitamin c, detoxification, other vitamins, etc. They hope to help your own immune system fight the cancer, rather than just directly attacking it with surgery, radiation and drugs. The odds against me are long either way. With the traditional approach, I'm guaranteed a lot of discomfort and no cure. My hope is that this will offer a higher quality of life and perhaps even allow me to get into and maintain a true remission. So I am in the process of doing paperwork, making phone calls, packing and moving my life to the desert for at least a month or two. I plan to continue coaching and staying in touch with everyone. But, if you happen to be out west and want to come visit, I would love that!!! I'll post when I have dates.