i wish i could say I slept well the night before chemo started. at around 1 am i finally realized that no amount of relaxation, self-hypnosis or Sedona relasing was going to help me sleep when the problem was the I was STARVING1 Got up and ate and fell right to sleep. Sometimes I am not all that bright!
Speaking of diet, I have changed mine. Vegan diet was great for a detox but the result was more starch and fruit sugar in my diet. No good. The notion that "sugar feeds cancer" is oversimplified, but cancer cells have WAY more glucose receptors than normal cells and I think the evidence that a low-sugar diet and (even more importantly) a low-insulin-producing diet is key to getting and staying better. So I am eating tons of vegetables, lentils and beans, nuts and seeds, organic meats and eggs, lots of olive oil and non-trans fats, avoiding dairy, refined sugars, flour, potatoes, rice and fruit.
So, back to my first day at Camp Chemo (the nurses actually call it that.) It's great that i got the 8 am slot, so there's less time to wait and freak out. Of course, then i wai there. in the lovely waiting room at the beautiful Sloan Kettering campus in Bedminster. And wait with all the other bums unlucky enough to have cancer but lucky ebough to have insurance. When they come to get me, i am brought into cubicle 11. And then begins the fun of finding a nice big vein so they can take bllod and then run the chemo in. This whole process skeeves me out, warming my arm and tapping around, making a fist. Uggh! the first iv didn't hurt at all, which was a relief because it didn't work. they then brought in the big guns - Mary, clearly the IV rock star. She got me - and it stung and burned like crazy but worked! And everyone agreed we get me a medi-port before next time. I have thought this meant not getting stuck - no such luck, but when they stick you, it's 100% successful every time. Woohoo! So that will happen soon.
The anti-nauseal protocol is unbeleivable. you bring in scrip that they have you take an hour before, then they give you three pills, then they give you something in the IV, then I take stuff as needed, another drug 24 hours later, then 2 more over the next few days. Crazy! But i am prone to nasuea and VERY GLAD this is available now.
SO, after all that fuss, they finally can get started, running saline, the anti-emetic, then the chemo. when you are ready for the chemo, the nurse dons a special gown (yikes) and calls for a chemo check. This is the excellent procedure for another nurse to come over and verify that you are you and you are gettign the right drug. I am ALLOVER this, as a business coach I teach systems up the wazoo, and this seems like a REALLY GGOD MOMENT not to make a mistake!
So the chemo runs in and I am drinking tons of water, getting up to pee pink (from the chemo). Then they send me home. I take myslef out to lunch at Narenj for Iranian food - yummy. I have to eat often to minimize nausea - that's me, not their advice. And, by the time I drive home, I can feel IT. The toxic rush, the body's response (something is WRONG here!) So I start my hypnosis techniques to encourage it to go where its needed and NOWHERE esle in my body, and start in on the as-needed anti-nauseals and, for the moment, I am okay.
Last night I slept like a baby, waking up only once to pee and take more anti-nauseals. i woke up feeling actually FINE. Not even nauseous until I started moving around. A moment of bliss. This morning, I feel pretty darned great. They tell me the steroids will wear off today and then next 2-3 will be the toughest in the cycle. Bring it on!!!!
On a final note, THANK YOU to those of you who have said its okay for me not to be positive at all times. I am deeply grateful for that compassion. Rest assured that positive for me does not mean no emotion. On the contrary, I allow myself to be sad, angry, etc. Using my Sedona method techniques, i don't resist the feelings and they pass quickly. Then I turn my attention back to hope and things that make me feel better. I have no intention of suppressing my feelings in order to prove something to the world. Serene and positive, without denial, is the goal, and it's a hell of a lot easier than the opposite.
Love and hugs to all
Colleen
Love and hugs back.
ReplyDeleteHi Colleen, this was a riveting walk-through of your experience. I was 'with you,' if only in retrospect, and I emerged more knowledgeable about the process.
ReplyDeleteBy the way, am I the only person who thought, "wha... you DROVE yourself home after that???"
What can a little cancer do to a strong woman equipped with strong body and mind, filled with knowledge and wisdom, armored by the best medicine and supported by troops of friends? Not much more than temporary discomfort and fatigue. Be tough and kick it in the butt!
ReplyDeleteMy bud Malcolm just finished session 4 this week. For him day 4 is usually the worst, but this week he got up and walked 3 miles and felt great. Today is day 5 and he's totally recovered. He does NOT drive himself home!
ReplyDeleteIVVM, Colleen!
I like the way you describe moving through the hard emotions to turn to hope & feeling better. Good for you, in all ways. I hope for the past few days since you wrote that the anti-nausea protocol worked for your body, the Sedona method worked for your mind, and that you were able to sleep. And I hope you have electricity! Take care, we are thinking about you. xo
ReplyDeleteHi Colleen,
ReplyDeleteYou reminded me of something I have almost forgotten. Now that I have lost most of the weight I gained when I was going through chemo (six months ago in April), I almost forgot how I never stopped eating, nibbling and drinking all the time - night and day. That's why I always had crackers and sour candies on my night stand. The steroids make us do it, but they're a necessity.
Regarding relaxation techniques, I have one I'd like to share with you. Here is the link to the exercise I used everyday: http://youtu.be/ROqD3aGjl-s
If the link does not work, just search chemo morning exercise. If you see a seated Asian lady with relaxing music playing in the background, that's it.
By the way, I agree with you 100% that being positive does not mean being calm all the time and never being cranky. For me, being positive is agreeing to go through the ordeal because you believe it is a step in the right direction to regain your health. And knowing you have a strong incentive to go through it - which was in my case, my desire not to make my family cry if I leave them prematurely.
Take care,
Fe
Ok so you are glad that we are letting you be weak, strong or whatever emotion has you for the moment--- can we also be like that? I am sick over this and wish it would disappear. Cancer has again struck someone that should be fine and have their focus on continuing to make the world a better place! Colleen- you will need to let us know what you need? Whatever that may be. So continue to move forward with all your mighty ways and bear with us as we try to keep up with you and grow as we learn from you.
ReplyDeleteDoreen
RE drinking water -- my chemo nurses told me that drinking a lot of fluids was important, but that water actually exacerbates nausea. Of course, you may be different. I know that seems counter intuitive, but it had a ring of truth for me when she said it, as I seemed to recall that whenever I had been nauseated due to natural causes, water made it worse. You won't like this advice, but I think the best fluid, to keep hydrated and keep flushing your system, that doesn't exacerbate nausea -- is soda! That's right - the old sick day favorite ginger ale, and even more counter-intuitive, coca-cola. (Pharmacies used to dispense coke syrup for this...) A lesser evil might be all natural sodas made with cane sugar. Or if you simply must go sugar/caffeine free, seltzer (might be same as water though). Or perhaps herbal tea. Something about the plain water though can exacerbate the nausea (in my experience anyway).
ReplyDeleteLove,
Sue
PS: The vein thing - I think "finding the vein" is a source of pride for phlebotomists, nurses and techs who stick you with needles. I always have the same issue. Maybe your solution is all set. But the simple solution for me? Use the bulging vein on the top of my hand. Most of the needle stickers are relieved when I make this request, but but a few hard corps ones resist, until I insist and they give in.
ReplyDelete-Susie