Life is good...

In between surgery and radiation there is...life! I am off dairy, sugar and reined starches. Last week, Steve wanted to make a simple pasta dish with kale, onions and garlic. But I, always having to raise the bar, find a vegan recipe for creamy kale pasta sauce. Honestly, the picture looked delicious....Poor Steve! Here he was, after a long day, following my directions given from the couch. If I weren't in some kind of delusional state, I would have known that any roux made with olive oil and almond milk was a BAD idea. Then, I asked him to chop the kale in food processor and add it in, sort of boiling it. Another bad idea. Long story short, after almost an hour of work, he brought to me with the heartening comment "I don't know, Babe...". I took one bite. Disgusting! I felt terrible but, far from being angry Steve looked, well...relieved! I started laughing, really laughing hard. We both laughed harder and harder as we dumped the revolting, gluey, smelly mess into the trash. In fact, we laughed off and on for about two hours. The thought of Steve valiantly cooking away while trying not to gag and me cheerily calling out instructions....hilarious! We called both kids to tell them how ridiculous their parents are. The laughter did me far more good than that food would have, believe me. This week, Steve was traveling, so I went to stay with my parents for a few days. My wonderful Dad drive 3+ hours each way to come get me and Butters. What a great time we had. I got there on Sunday, my Mom and I walked the dog to Whole Foods and she made us salad for dinner, along with the chicken my lovely friend Priya had dropped off as we were leaving Jersey. I am so well taken care of! In two full days there, I managed to have dinner with 4 wonderful high school friends, lunch with 6 Keenan relatives, dinner with my cousin Lynn, and get a lymph drainage massage and education on lymphedema at the health building next door. My parents live in a wonderful condo right in downtown West Hartford that is just the best place to be. I'm tempted to go up there again next week when Steve's away again, but it's a schlep and I hate missing my activities here. Speaking of which, I went to my first LiveSTRONG fitness program at the YMCA. This is an awesome free 3 month program for cancer survivors to get back into shape. Most of the folks are much older than me, so I look pretty strong. It actually made me feel great. The fitness tests were pretty easy, I can stand on one leg for a minute, walk for 6 minutes, bench press a decent amount, etc. Seeing just how tough this disease and the treatment can be, I feel grateful to still be so lively and strong. In fact, I feel terrific right now, energetic and strong. I'm looking forward to really getting fit. It will be interesting to see how the radiation affects me, but at least I have a few more weeks to strengthen before then. It is odd being at the gym after my mastectomy. I don't want to bother with my fluffy, somewhat itchy fake boob, so I am simply lopsided. I simply forget this fact for most of the time, then remember and feel a bit awkward. I am finding being one-breasted harder than being bald, I'm not sure why. Maybe it is that being "disfigured" is simply more brutal. I mean, it's a form of amputation, and I think we all have a visceral response to seeing an animal of any kind missing a chunk of what we expect to see. Or maybe it's that bald is a choice men and even some women can make for fashion reasons. I don't think anyone ever cut off their boob to make a fashion statement (if someone did, please don't tell me!). I find it interesting that I am self-conscious about it. But not self-conscious enough to put in a falsie for working out, at least not now. I might later, and I do feel much more comfortable in public with both boobs in place. There is definitely something to be said for not making a statement everywhere you go. But I guess I wish it's didn't bother me at all. But who wants to look funny if you don't have to? Another issue with the falsie is that it hurts. They tell me I may heal the nerve damage that left my left arm and chest with spots that are sore to the touch, making bras, shirts or clothing of any kind irritating, but that it will take months. Fun! Anyway, I feel great and am looking forward to singing again tonight. Today is a very good day for me to be alive in. Hope yours is good, too! Colleen