Yesterday was the first of the new chemo regimen. As feared, the Taxol allergic reaction business was stressful. Since there is a chance of allergic reaction, they have you take steroids in advance. In advance meant setting an alarm for 2 am and taking 5 pills, the 5 more at 8 am.

When I started the chemo, my job was to monitor whether it was making me feel anything wierd or bad. Apparently, if you get past the first 15 minutes, the odds are good you are okay. For the first ten minutes, all seemed well and I was breathing a sigh of relief. Then, suddenly, I got this really wierd flushing feeling in my chest. I was reading, so didn't pay attention at first then, when it didn't go away, hit the panic button.

This Panic button thing always gets a dramatic response. Within seconds, two nurses were in my cubicle, asking questions, looking worried and cutting off the drip. One grabbed the Benadryl and cortisone and had it at ready. I was feeling better. They phoned the doctor. Her word was to try again, at quarter speed and see what happens. Tried that. One minute in, th flushing feeling came back and I was having trouble swallowing. Stopped the meds again. This time, the doctor came herself, asked more questions and decreed they give me the Benadryl and cortisone and try again. Benadryl made me sleepy, then jumpy but, at quarter speed, we seemed okay. Only down side was I was attached to the chemo drip for 5 hours. The Benadryl made me jumpy! Legs twitchy and I was really unpleasant to have to lie still for so long. I am grateful we don't have to switch meds and derail the chemo process. Of course, this means we go through the same thing into weeks. Fun!

But today, I felt great (in chemo terms). Nausea is better, although I still have a burning in my stomach I thought would be behind me. Just another opportunity to practice letting go of what I wish I were feeling and accepting how I do. Still suck at this, but am getting better!